Baby Fever

In an earlier post, I described my child birthing experience with my beautiful baby girl, Liberty Sarai.  The outcome of that birth has left me with all lady parts as side from the main component- Ms. Uterus.  The uterus is a VITAL part of carrying a baby but since that part is somewhere on an organ farm (lol), I am no longer able to carry/have children.  

With that being said,  I am having baby fever.  All the preggers walking around are super cute.  I am so happy for them and also a little jealous.  It was meant for me to experience what I did with Liberty but it still does not change the fact that I would like or want more children.  

We have weighed the options of adoption or finding a surrogate mother to carry our child.  I would love to have either or to obtain my child.  Adoption is a great option because it gives a baby/child to experience something that they may not have had with the birth family.  Its a long process but giving a child a home is the bottom line.  BUT I am leaving more towards surrogacy. 

Not to sound harsh, but I would love to have another little bugger like my husband and I.  When you think about it, it sounds feasible: find a woman that wants to help a family by being their oven.  The reality of the situation is asking a woman: to be implanted with another person's sperm and egg, to experience pregnancy (with the possibility of having ALL the usual symptoms related to being pregnant), and the end result is not having anything to show for the long experience except a feeling of helping others.  Its a long shot for us.  It is VERY expensive to have a random surrogate to do the job because the of hospital bills, check ups, ultra sounds, etc.  

 Liberty (bottom) and her German cousin, Alicia (top)

Maybe one day we will have another bundle, but until then Liberty Sarai will be the lone, spoiled, not-brat-like munchkin.

My Hero

I decided to write this post because I saw a video (on God.com) of a girl singing to her mother in the hospital fighting the final stages of cancer.  This is such a special moment caught on camera.  Watch the video and pray that God helps the family in healing over this loss.  http://www.godvine.com/Girl-Sings-a-Beautiful-Song-to-her-Mother-on-her-Death-Bed-1606.html

During my sophomore year in high school, my mother went to the hospital on her birthday 1/1/2012.  During her stay I visited her but most trips were not the best.  I think that I knew she was not going to make it out.  I was very angry and I blamed her for making me stay with my grandparents and aunt. 

One one of my last visits with her, she asked me to sing her favorite song "Hero" by Mariah Carey.  This was our song and she loved to hear me sing it!  She was my number one fan.  I sang that song with her and she sang a little with me.  I remember her smiling and just enjoying her baby girl singing. 

For a long time (probably a few years), I could not even listen to the song.   It brought back the pain of losing my mother.  This is for my momma.  May she rest in peace.