What if?

What if? Thats a good question as it pertains to my mom.  What if she didnt meet God on January 12, 2000.  What if she was allowed to be here?  I play this senario over in my head all the time, but I find comfort in knowing that she was taken to ensure no more duration of pain.  Maybe if she had lived, then she might have been faced with a disease or something that could have caused enormous pain and suffering.  So praise to my GOD for taking my mother and making it into something that gives him GLORY...thats what its all about. Decisions made in honor of him and to give him glory.  Even though I wished, with EVERY fiber of my being that she were still here, I take comfort in knowing that he made the best choice to ultimatley turn it back to him.

Also , I have been reading other blogs, other christian blogs, that mostly have to deal with loss-particularly the loss of a child.  As I read about the mother's trauma, I sit back and think "what if that was my little girl".  I would be devestated but as hard as it is to fathom, that could be my reality someday.  Now in writing this, I am not trying to be morbid, just stating to GOD and others that Liberty undoubtedly belongs to God and he is going to use her for him.  I give my child to Christ knowing that shes not  "mine" but used as a vessal to show how great God is. 
I hope that this is making sense seeing that it is 3:22 A.M.  I just had some ramboline thoughts that I need to write.  And maybe its not eliquently written like my husband's writing, but for me, all I need to do is convey words/emotions/me.

Today was a good day

Seems as though I have made it through the holidays.  Every year is different.  I miss my mom more and others I just know that today is a day that I can celebrate her memory. Today....I celebrated my mom!  I knew that she was watching down today, celebrating her birthday as we (Libby and I) talked to her.  I know that she is and would be proud of me for everything that I have done.  Happy Birthday Sandra Jean!  I love you and Liberty says hi!